lets stop traffic.

I need:
- to change my hair
- zillions of pyramid studs
- gunmetal spray paint
- bleach
- to remember to force myself to work out more
- to clean my room and do my mofucking laundreh.

du gris.

It's warm out, but of course it's not just warm, it's all coastal and humid, which is less than comfortable. ew. I always think about wanting to move somewhere cold, maybe, but then I think I don't really want to leave.
I'm like, incredibly unsatisfied and pms-y and just... fuck, school is nearly finished, I cannot wait. Still no job but I'm hoping, there's still possibilities, it's all good.
I dropped off some shit for film before leaving to go to a funeral, and instead of filming the class was playing charades? Also, the only person in my group who knew what we were doing wasn't there, so... cool. whatever, I'm not baking more muffins, if we need more props, someone else can do it.

Just because who hasn't posted these by now? but that's not the point. the point is Mary Kate nearly nailed exactly how I've been dreaming my hair to be for a while now. I saw this incredibly cute girl at Value Village rocking about the same style the other day and I was so jealous I want to slap her, but so impressed I wanted to like, be her bffl or something at the same time, so I dunno.
I finally got my camera back. It's a shit camera, but it's all I've got, and it was pretty frustrating waiting for my sisters and dad to quit passing it around like a joint. speaking of which... I watched part of "Friends With Money" in sociology last week, and I liked that Jen Anniston was playing a chick that smoked weed. I would love to see her in a stoner comedy, I really fucking would. speaking of which, again, I just watched "weirdsville" GO FUCKING CHECK THAT SHIT THE FUCK OUT MOTHERFUCKERS! Seriously, it was bomb. such a cute movie.

aaaanyways, imma peace aight, later.
ps, my mom is studying and she's using up my music curfew.
college is ruining my life and i'm not even in it yet, fml.

cancer

i'm so glad monday is a holiday, but i don't know what good it will really do me in the end. by the end of this month i am really hoping to be employed somewhere. i feel like that could really help my situation.

i don't know how to feel about life right now... things are very strange currently.

dreamcatcher.

i got a muffin pan that will make 4 nice big heart-shaped muffins and a dish in which to cook escargot, therefore, i am happy. i also got a short red peacoat and a turquoise button up corduroy cowboy shirt. yeah, that's right, colour. of course, a black sweater and another black blazer also ended up in my possession, which was unnecessary but WHATEVER.
i made dinner today. beets, zucchini, potatoes and onions and steak and salad and you would die of happiness eating it, honest. i promise. for real. i wish i had whole wheat flour for the muffins i want to make.

i think the movie theater called but i knew the moment i started filling out the application that something about that place really turned me off. i think it was the manager, i just didn't like him. however, while le chateau turned me off completely, i really liked the manager there. so, you know. what do i do? ! i'll just work in a green house, turn hippie or something, i guess. peace motherfuckers, I'm on a boat.

sundaes.

I spend too much money and haven't gotten a job interview yet, even. but whatever. i'll find something, i'll get money, i'll move out. and my place will be perfect. or something. i don't even know. i'm very impatient about everything but also too worn out from waiting to try and speed shit up. i don't make a lot of sense, maybe, but whatever.
i just paid my friend $5 in dimes, way to slum it. long weekend ftw, i am sooo stoked and um.... yeah. don't you hate needing to talk, but having nothing to say? i am so there right now.
whenever we walk at night we pass this house that is darker grey with a red door and it's surounded by trees. at night the red door glows and seriously, it fucking caaallls to you, man. just calls. i need to buy Apocalypse Now. I have an unhealthy obsession with that movie, oh well, it can't be helped. peace the fuck out.

a world to win.

i don't know what this is, some movie remake or something. basically the blond understands my taste in hair. she's fucking stunnnning. aside from that, apparently doodles will only get you 1.5 / 20 on your physics quiz, and prompt your teacher to announce a little exasperatedly that that's "enough of [this] crap."
bollocks, that's my cue i guess. let's see what i can do about effort, eh?

unchain my heart.

i am fucking skint. and not because i've bought these ridiculously orgasmic motherfuckers, either. not because i've bought anything worth it. i have no idea what it is that i spent all my money on but i know what it is i wish i had more money to spend on. although it's not all the same-old bad-news shit, because this time my financial woes are at least somewhat diminished by the slight optimism of having finally handed out a few applications, one of which i handed in at the very store that happens to sell these shoegasms. fingers are crossed, you can bet your mother's right lung on that.

i think i have a lot of homework. it's very possible that a month-long journal documenting our provincial elections is due tomorrow in socials. it is more than probable [in fact, it is fact] that i have yet to even really think about attempting to start said journal. whatever. scholastic apathy aside, i'm feeling otherwise inspired and refreshed so maybe i'll get around to being myself again finally and doing something other than nothing. one can only hope.

i guess on the topic of inspiration, i am totally feeling the need to make a list, because i have a list-complex. yeah, i know it's weird for someone with no organization, but i never said my life made sense. anyways, let's see... gorgoroth, alex webster's hair, feathered headdresses, taxidermy, catholic iconography, lush gardens, gypsies, contrasts and irony, outdoor summer dinner parties, quirky tea cups, black sabbath, black and white photography, evergreens and candy stores. that's sort of where i'm at right now, and all of these things are sort of born from or helping to enhance my need for school to just fucking END right about anytime now. whatever, six weeks or so left, I just need to hope for employment and make sure i keep all my marks above failing. because i can't afford to fail another class. you know, i would totally credit/link all the pictures i put here if
a] i could remember where i found them, and/or
b] anyone read this. oh well, haha.