so maybe while i'm not together i can feel like i'm not alone

i feel shitty, generally speaking.
sometimes, there's smiley icing on top but mostly it's just shit.

no one to talk to, nothing to talk about...
i don't know. i'm very lost and very tired and
i've given up more than i knew i had, even.

your icy blues

I've been waking up so happy, but maybe I'm not as sure as I think I am.
Maybe I'm wanting things again, things that I can't have and shouldn't really
consider. And i never think these things are the problem, you know. I always figure
it's me, not that I'm doing something wrong, necessarily, but that i am not doing anything right,
and I'm just looking for that special something that I think could get me where i want to be.
I don't know where to start, though.

wargasmic.

we have such great ideas, but then we either forget them or think about them later and realize, "wtf?"

but I think one of them involved becoming gypsies, and that was cool. time machine, as well.

no one takes time travel seriously and it's fucking me up. i can't be the only one that only wants to marry historic figures?! or unattainable black metal gods or GQ motherfuckers...

alas, woe is me.

my words alight like leaves of sin.

it's really rather silly, but I very much want a black Juicy Couture sweatsuit. I mean, 100+ each for track pants and a hoodie IS ridiculous, and I think that's what appeals to me. It's cheesy and ballin' and extravagant, which is excellent. Too bad there's so many things on my "extravagant purchases I'll convince myself I'm saving up for even though I know no money is staying in my hands for very long" list. There's FX makeup and props, chainmail, beautiful demonia boots or creepers or both... just so very many things I want that I'm not going to list them.

"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got"
I want what I've got, but can I still want more? Apparently so. jskfjkdsjfksdjfkdsf .

I'm in a bit of a bind lately, as I'm in a "craving a change" phase right now, and I haven't any way of changing anything as drastically as I need to right now. I suppose once I get back from the cabin, I'll finally dye my hair again, after getting it trimmed all pretty-like. Also, I'm planning on getting my septum pierced, probably in september when my friend goes to get some stuff done for her birthday. Yay! I'm at the point where I don't really care if my parents don't like it, I've respected their distaste for body mods for a very long time, and I think I'm DEFFINATELY old enough that it's time that they respect my love of them. I've been very patient, so it's my turn to treat my face the way I want to.

[okay, not entirely patient. I cheated a bit, but no one can see that, so shh.]







this is the only pic I've got so far, of my bro and me all gussied up as Bubblehead Nurses. you cant really see the mask texture, but it's pretty cooooool. there's my darling lolita in the back, there, too.

there's no harm in dreaming it

All random and unrelated things that I want want want want want, thanks.

organ grinder.

"Something like if Hell-Cat Maggie had a baby with Dorian Grey who was raised on a pirate ship by Dani Filth where it was taught to fly jets by Wop May and listened to a lot of techno, crunk and metal with Lil' Jon. " that's my plan.

Mhm. I'm working on a chain shirt. Not chainmail, since the rings I've got are a little too heavy/thick, unfortunately, but that will come, too.

My favorite holiday is, duh, Halloween. Which is, when you stop and think about it, a really weird word. So, do or don't, up to you. My predicament is, tortuously, this. Do I go as
a) Baby Firefly
orrr
b)Hell-Cat Maggie ?

I'm thinking hell-cat maggie, but if I ever have a baby firefly body, you just try and make me put any more clothing on it than she does. HA.

heatstruck.

i wasn't made for summer, frankly. this humid, west-coast heat is hard to take and it's pure masochism to look at fall/winter collections in this oven of a room. maybe some visual relief... coolness by association? I doubt it, but oh well...